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And so it begins.
May. 5th, 2010 12:18 amI've taken the summer off from pursuing my long-overdue undergraduate degree in order to recuperate. I've only been done with finals for one day, and already I'm feeling the strain of time passing without progress toward said degree.
I'm consoling myself by promising that I'll work on things I've been neglecting in favor of my studies. Things like artistic pursuits. (And cleaning my house.) I've been making a list of stories I want to write, plotlines and characters who have been simmering in my head for days or months or sometimes years, that I just haven't gotten around to. Part of me thinks the summer is going to be so unbelievably long without intensive summer courses to fill it up, and another part of me thinks it won't be long enough at all for the stories I want to write.
First on my plate might be Queer Girls, since I want to tell their stories. Four girls and one girl-bodied not-a-girl, connected along tenuous lines. So far, Sarah is the only one whose story I have begun. I'm so intimidated by them in some ways, because I only have little snippets of their lives and who they are, and I'm trying to weave those into stories bigger than I know how to write.
Or maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills, and it's really far simpler than that.
But every project I undertake ends up intimidating me at some point. I have grand ideas, and somewhere (usually about 1/3 in), I stop, stare at it, and go, "I'm never going to get this to look like I want it to."
And so far, I've been right about that. It never turns out quite like I intended. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes it's not quite as grand as I'd hoped. But I'm working on it.
I'm consoling myself by promising that I'll work on things I've been neglecting in favor of my studies. Things like artistic pursuits. (And cleaning my house.) I've been making a list of stories I want to write, plotlines and characters who have been simmering in my head for days or months or sometimes years, that I just haven't gotten around to. Part of me thinks the summer is going to be so unbelievably long without intensive summer courses to fill it up, and another part of me thinks it won't be long enough at all for the stories I want to write.
First on my plate might be Queer Girls, since I want to tell their stories. Four girls and one girl-bodied not-a-girl, connected along tenuous lines. So far, Sarah is the only one whose story I have begun. I'm so intimidated by them in some ways, because I only have little snippets of their lives and who they are, and I'm trying to weave those into stories bigger than I know how to write.
Or maybe I'm making mountains out of molehills, and it's really far simpler than that.
But every project I undertake ends up intimidating me at some point. I have grand ideas, and somewhere (usually about 1/3 in), I stop, stare at it, and go, "I'm never going to get this to look like I want it to."
And so far, I've been right about that. It never turns out quite like I intended. Sometimes it's better. Sometimes it's not quite as grand as I'd hoped. But I'm working on it.
